You know that feeling where you really want to know what’s going on in the world, but you’re almost afraid (and yet can’t help yourself) to look at Google News? That’s our world now, the one where every single day — sometimes every hour — brings a new frightening, depressing, and embarrassing headline about the current administration, which is filled with so many C-list celebrities (I’m not calling the likes of Ivanka, Don Jr., Kushner, Betsy DeVos anything other than), our real world has basically become the equivalent of a Sharknado movie. You remember Sharknado, right? That’s now a five (six if you count the mockumentary) film franchise that shows no sign of slowing down.
When the first Sharknado movie was announced by Syfy, it seemed — and turned out to be — ridiculous, and uproariously funny. I fully admit to laughing my ass off at that installment, and the second as well. After that, I lost track of ‘nado goings on, other than being surprised each time yet another installment. Come to think of it, I experience similarly incredulous emotions skimming daily news headlines, only with a metric ton more anger over healthcare, education and building walls to keep out brown folks.
Today, everything Sharknado and real life went full ouroboros when I read this:
In January 2015, two years before he was sworn in as president, Donald Trump was set to step into the same role in a very different capacity: He had signed on to play the president in 2015’s Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
… Ian Ziering, the gung-ho star of the schlocky Syfy franchise, had the inspiration to capitalize on the special relationship he’d developed with Trump while taping Celebrity Apprentice. His reality TV boss would make a good commander in chief, he reasoned. An offer went out. Almost immediately, it elicited a response.
‘The Donald said yes’. He was thrilled to be asked.'”
But (and I fully expect you’ll experience the same snicker-to-yourself as I did when you read), Trump wasn’t the Sharknado producers’ first pick for fake president; it was another would-be, who also preceded 45’s political run in real life.
I swear, we cannot make this shit up. That’s right, 2008 VP nominee, Sarah ‘You betcha; I can see you from Alaska’ Palin was first pick for Sharknado president, but she lost out to our now real world … I can’t say it … that guy who calls the White House a dump (then GTFO), the one who helps make our daily lives a surreality, the star of nearly every negative daily headline you read, DJ Trump.
After 45’s enthusiastic acceptance of the role, producers say they got pretty far in the process with Trump, until one day they heard from his lawyer, Michael D. Cohen (currently being investigated by the FBI):
Donald’s thinking about making a legitimate run for the presidency, so we’ll get back to you.This might not be the best time.”
And that, my friends, is how the world of Sharknado became our real lives. I’m just waiting to look out my window and see this …