Last Sunday‘s Game of Thrones was definitely a mixed bag of emotions and scenes with a short, sweet reunion, and a finale battle that didn’t quite cut it for many longtime fans. And right before that closing was another disappointing event — one that’d been teased in the Season 7 trailer — but failed to play well.
You see, instead of being on high alert for her crazy, violent uncle, whose ships she and Theon had stolen to broker a deal with Daenerys, Yara Greyjoy was down in the hull of one of those boats, throwing back an ale or two with Ellaria Sand. After some suggestive conversation that wasn’t exactly on par with Dany and Yara‘s magical meeting — or even the wordless flirting Tormund so generously doles out whenever Brienne’s around — some really uncomfortable things happened.
The weird thing is, we know both women have had glorious chemistry with other partners. Ellaria and he-whose-death-still-makes-us-sob were hot as hot can be …
… and Yara has taken hot next level with a stranger; a girl knows how to kiss a girl.
Together, though, Ellaria and Yara were nothing short of awkward,
and the actual “flirting” that that led to a half-hearted kiss was more unintentionally comical than anything. If you look at both women’s faces, neither are serious about their moment; they each look as if they’re about to crack up.
Despite Gemma Whelan saying the kiss happened naturally (it wasn’t scripted), nothing about this scene felt organic. I mean, when’s the last time you did this to your partner?
Is that move supposed to entice Theon to become the next best incestuous brother?
Or was Ellaria merely turning herself on with the feel of Yara’s soft suede boot?
Then there was one of the worst ever sexytime lines not uttered by Christopher Walken:
I mean, maybe Oberyn could have pulled off that line, but I’m sorry, Ellaria — you cannot.
Finally, the long-awaited kiss happened … Ellaria dives, and Yara’s all, “OKAY, I GUESS I’M DOING THIS”.
It wasn’t a terrible kiss, but by no means was it a hot one, either.
Then this happened, and everything went to shit.
My (a little too late) advice for Yara: if there’s no real spark, walk away and maybe check out what’s happening topside? You never know what disasters might be avoided.