What About Bill?

hrcbc

Today’s the day, people. Just do it. vote

Obviously we need distractions to get us through the many long hours ahead and I don’t know about you, but for me, listening to prattling pundits just isn’t going to work. I need something lighthearted, yet of great urgency to keep my mind from anxiousness. And well, there’s something that’s been bugging me about the moment Hillary Rodham Clinton is declared 45th President of these United States.

What about Bill? What in the world are we going to call Bill?

Some people have taken to First Husband (The page “Fhotus” does not exist) which (despite what the Trump campaign might say), since HRC isn’t likely to become polygamous while in office, doesn’t really make sense. Come to think of it, though First Lady might sound a grand or lovely title, in the years ahead, we should probably come up with something gender neutral. Thing is, “FLOTUS” does roll off the tongue rather nicely, and isn’t that what’s really important here?

hillarybored

I know, I know; truly it’s YOUR DAY, Madam President …

newsweek-cover-hillary

… that’s right, Newsweek already called it and so shall we. Now, let’s find Mr. Bill a suitable title.

FMOTUS (First Man, Male of the United States)

FPOTUS (First Person of the United States)

FHHOTUS (First Househusband of the United States) Heh.

HANDSY (Whoops!)

FGOTUS (First Gramps of the United States) Not terribly official-sounding.

FHOTUS (First Human of the United States) Not true.

FDOTUS (First Dude of the United States)! Bonus:  most of us already use “dude” in a gender neutral way.

This one’s my personal favorite, but does it really have that roll off the tongue thing we’re looking for? “Fuh-doe-tus”? It could work!

dudeno

All Bill has to do is grow back this beard, and we’re good to go.

billbeard

And, Madam President, you know just how to keep him busy while you’re getting things done.

bcballoons

Happy Election Day, America! Please join me in welcoming FDOTUS, Bill.

Cindy Davis

Cindy Davis

Cindy Davis has been writing about the entertainment industry for ​over seven years, and is the ​Editor-in-Chief at Oohlo, where she muses over television, movies, and pop culture. Previous Senior News Editor at Pajiba, and published at BUST.

You may also like...

  • emmalita

    I think he gets to be Former President Clinton. So it will be “President Clinton and Former President Clinton …”

    I am ok with this.

  • Valhallaback Girl

    Mrs. and Mr. President Clintons?

    • I feel like First Dude should be getting more support, but I don’t mind this.

      • KWDragon

        Actually, Todd Palin already used that when Sarah Palin was Governor. Maybe that’s why I am not as sold on it.

  • Halbs

    45 and 42?

    • Halbs

      87?

      • Halbs

        President Clinton and Chelsea’s dad?