Mr. Robot: Can We Get a Darlene Explains It All Show, Please?

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***Spoilers: Spoilers for Mr. Robot through “eps2.4_m4ster-s1ave.aes” follow. Spoilers***

Dear readers! This is a brief one; I was at home for a family wedding (it was wonderful, since you asked) and only had time to react to this episode. The reactions are recorded below. Enjoy and we’ll be back to full service for this week’s episode!

  • Mr. Robot‘s ’90s Throwback IS LIFE.
  • Let’s talk about Rami’s face in the opening shot and all the joy it fills my heart with and Darlene’s AMAZING outfit.
  • Rami’s face is all of us RN.
  • “God, Elliot, what’s your damage?!”
  • I need a candy necklace.
  • “Annual Alderson Family Road Trip; all of us together!” “DARLENE TOO?!”
  • Elliot loves Angela so damn much.
  • Oh, my god, the cancer jokes.
  • So Robot and Darlene, in Elliot’s TV brain, defo related? I DON’T EVEN KNOW.
  • These opening credits are EVERY GOOD THING.
  • I would watch Darlene Explains It All.
  • OMG, Angela’s bit; her hair! The “A” necklace?! I would watch this version of the show. If they want to do off-season webisodes of this, I am all in.
  • “Man in the trunk” ……. que?!
  • “Imagine a woooooorld! Gooooone insaaaaaane!”
  • I’d pay them fat cash to make the whole show like this; I am dead serious.
  • IS TYRELL IN THE TRUNK?!
  • Elliot not being allowed to see the Gameboy is more of that reality control.
  • Confirmation Mama Alderson is abusive as shitting hell.
  • IS IT TYRELL IN THE TRUNK, THO?
  • TYREEEEELLL!
  • Heh, Robot knows where he is and … has him locked up somewhere?? Which calls back to my idea it’s not Tyrell or some kind of recording that Elliot “talked” to on the phone.
  • But can you imagine waking up in a ’90s sitcom, though?
  • Sitcom Angela is my favorite Angela; Portia Doubleday is a gift.
  • “If you’re anything like your old man….” So what if Darlene is from an affair?
  • The gag on the mum hitting Darlene in the face: is that a call back to something?
  • Robot: “Eyes forward” — What does that mean? “Stay here while I take over the body and do stuff”?
  • Knocking out Darlene removes her from all the family interaction, just like in Elliot’s memories. Which means WHAT, Esmail?!
  • I wish the E Corp ads in this dream were like the ones from Better Off Ted with just quiet hints at, like, super creepy cloning projects or something.
  • So this fantasy is confirming Tyrell is involuntarily restrained somewhere? IS IT?
  • Is that why Elliot’s living situation seems so prison-like: it’s not a clue about Elliot but Tyrell?
  • Tyrell running into the backdrop has to be a direct reference to The Truman Show as well as just GD hilarious.
  • In fact, this whole bit is all hilarious. The mention of the shoe brand: a clue?!
  • “It can feel good if you let it,” bro.
  • We, as a species, don’t deserve the cast of this show.
  • Mr. Robot holding that tire iron is how Elliot is going to defend himself from his crunchy beating. Or Mr. Robot/Elliot used a tire iron to smash Tyrell’s head in a month ago and the boy is dead as dead.
  • “A lie is the only remedy. Too much truth, too much honesty … that’ll kill you.” Bro.
  • “This whole place is a lie. Nothing here is true!” R.OOOOO.
  • Holy shit, this is basically confirming Cindy’s whole theory!
  • IS ELLIOT SAYING HE’S DEAD? IS HE SAYING HE’S DEAD? I’M BURIED HERE? DID HE DIE AT THE BEACH AS A CHILD?!
  • Man, Nadine. Breathe. Breathe.
  • This might be the sweetest scene between father and son the show will ever, ever have. Ever. Relish this, Elliot; he’ll never be that kind again because he’s only that kind when you dream.
  • “A hospital” — are they at the vet?!
  • Ray is the Devil.
  • No, really, that whole speech to Elliot: Ray is the DEVIL.
  • Trenton and Co. are rightfully scared the FBI shooting has heightened security and their mission is fucked.
  • I did wonder on that last week, on the convenience of the shooting timed with Darlene and Angela’s plan. Which Cisco and, therefore, the Dark Army and Whiterose MUST have known was happening. So did they sabotage the Feds or fsociety, is the question? What was their goal?
  • The fsociety gang trying to teach Angela to code and hack is too fucking cute.
  • I want her and Mobley to wind up besties. That’s a spin-off right there.
  • To save her the problem of being TERRIBLE AT COMPUTERS, she at least has a backup USB thingie. Which, if she doesn’t use it in this hack, is gonna be either a Chekhov’s USB or a red herring.
  • I like how Darlene is totally behind the idea Angela can do it. BELIEVE IN YOUR OTHER MISTER SISTER, DARLENE.
  • Cisco talking Mandarin is sort of amazing and trippy.
  • Cisco is about to have a terrible, no-good, very bad day.
  • Is he getting tortured just to show him what for or did they inject him with something?
  • Oh, poor Dom. Poor baby girl. Is she okay? She lost friends!
  • FBI lead guy was “in his room”?!?! He avoided getting shot by being in his room?!
  • Dom being 100% accurate all the fucking time. I want her to change sides, I want her to bring down the bad guys and, by bad guys, I mean Evil Corp.
  • Price is also the Devil. I could talk for days on the parallels between Ray and Price.
  • Hahahahaaaaaaaa, Whiterose is ghosting Price, hahahaaaaaa.
  • Price is trapped inside his ivory tower and it’s all starting to fall apart. The months of frustration are building and metastasizing. Ya fucked now, Pricey.
  • Angela, bb, you got this, girl; you look fly; your hair is fierce; you’re a badass hacker ninja.
  • Oh, shit, Angela just realised she got used! Darlene doesn’t know Cisco is the one who implicated Angela?!
  • … Would Darlene really not know?
  • Maybe it wasn’t Angela they picked; just anyone from Allsafe who would take the disc?
  • Gotta be. I can’t see Darlene, Elliot, even RobotElliot having let them implicate Angela if they’d known.
  • Dom unloading all her emotions on her bodega guy should be a regular thing, like a weekly thing where they shoot the shit and set the world to rights.
  • I’m as sad as Dom and Ahmed he’s gonna lose his shop. This is the dark underbelly of the hack, the small businesses they’ll kill and destroy in trying to “save” the world.
  • AND HER WIG. ARE MY LIFE.
  • Darlene standing under an “exit” sign: is she doomed tho?
  • Darlene is not a normal hacker. This is a soldier. Darlene is something so much more than “Elliot’s sister” (if she’s even that).
  • Like, look at this fucking setup she has, cloning magnet cards and that little … satellite thingie and their hacked wi-fi thing. Darlene has some connections a college kid hacker wouldn’t have.
  • Remember that flashback when she visited Elliot? And she was talking about how her BF did some simple-ass hack on her phone so she gets free food?
  • That same girl just espionaged her way into an FBI hack using wigs and disguises. Elliot hasn’t gone to lengths like Darlene has.
  • Could her whole bit be an extension of his fantasy? That stuff has escalated from some scrappy kids using personal insults to get into server farms to on-the-go card cloning and hacking government computers. I don’t mean it in a bad way; I want to see where it’s going.
  • “Marble Cake”
  • Angela, girl, don’t you back out. Don’t you get bitter they used you! You do this! You go through with it!
  • Oh, my god, my heart is racing. She’ll run flat into Dom; I know it.
  • The fact we’re watching her through the doors means someone else is watching her. On camera or something …
  • OH, MY GOD.
  • Wait …
  • Has …
  • Has this all been one shot??
  • From 32 minutes, 42 seconds, up to 38 minutes, 50 seconds, is all one shot. Angela’s whole mission is just Portia Doubleday OWNING.
  • Angela could probably start reciting her motivational mantra if she gets caught and just lie she had a panic attack and needed to hide.
  • SHE DID IT!
  • Still one shot.
  • “You were in there a while!”
  • Um, RUDE, FBI bro. Angela, girl, just be gross like, “Yeah, I had some reallllllly lousy takeout last night; whooo, good thing I lit a match in there!” and then run.
  • Love, LOVE how they’re actively hacking this guy while Angela talks to him and her POWERFUL BEAUTY is blinding him to her suspiciousness.
  • STILL ONE SHOT.
  • Angela, you sexy, powerful woman OF MY DREAMS.
  • Angela don’t need your hacking; she’s a powerful sexy lady who can play this FBI Bro like a goddamned fiddle.
  • So with Mobley failing to teach her to hack, her recovery with the FBI guy feels like a callback to that. Maybe she can’t hack computers, but people? People she can hack.
  • But it’s good in a way that he talked to her because if anyone saw them she’s just been legitimized — he spoke to her and let her go, so …
  • Still one shot.
  • Small cheat cut to get under the desk with her, but we’ll allow it.
  • Still one shot.
  • TRUE DETECTIVE! AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’! ON ME!
  • Is what I imagine Esmail was shrieking when they shot this episode.
  • I am so tense. So tense. Shaking with tenseness. Back to our “one shot.”
  • Angela, BABY.
  • One shot ends as their hack might go to shit.
  • That was INTENSE.
  • Poor Elliot.
  • Elliot has a … long slash on his inner wrist?
  • No, really, Elliot has a long cut, stitched closed, on what can only be his inner arm because it looks like he’s 100% dressed in bed.
  • Last time our boy was put in the hospital was his “fall/jump” at Coney Island that everyone assumed was a suicide attempt.
  • And there’s a lingering shot of the cut, too, and we know nothing on this show is accidental.
  • Angela learning live how to hack is genuinely thrilling. If she gets good at this, she could be such a pro. She’s fearless. She’s utterly fearless.
  • DOM DOM DOM DOM DOM DOM.
  • ANGELA MAYBE REACT BETTER THAN OPEN-MOUTHED SURPRISE, THO.
  • Poor Elliot. Poor, poor Elliot.
  • Maybe this one time, let Robot take over and fuck everyone up?
  • “Before you get all bent out of shape … all I was trying to do was take those punches for you.” BRB, crying forever.
  • Okay, this entire scene has broken my entire heart. Elliot collapsing into his father’s arms has just smashed my soul into pieces.
  • Flashback time!
  • Real flashback, not the Sitcom. I love that they keep the same adorable and wonderfully gifted young actor to play Elliot.
  • Christian Slater as the “doing his best” dad: also heart-wrenching.
  • Did Elliot get his dad fired?
  • No, Elliot’s dad was fired because he got sick. Jesus fucking Christ, the universe took a shit on this family.
  • This season is sort of working backwards through Elliot’s memories of his father getting sick.
  • And Robot mentioned Darlene by name, so this is a straight flashback …
  • The boy’s delight that his dad is opening a computer store? Little Elliot wanting to work for and with his dad? Elliot naming the store?! And he’s so proud to be asked?! My heart.
  • Dear parents: asking a child to keep as big a secret as your serious sickness is a cruelty. A special kind of cruelty.
  • That was the best episode of the season, hands down. I’ve said that before.

 

 

Nadine Morgan

Nadine Morgan

Nadine Morgan is really terrible at the ‘About You’ part of life. Nadine developed her reviewer skills writing epic facebook rants about the details script supervisors forget and trying to explain why Carol on The Walking Dead broke Lizzie by accident. Nadine loves TV, film and books but she wishes someone would pay her to be the continuity editor. She can be found on Facebook and in her forest garden and if she’s not yelling at her TV she’s trying to convince a cat to be an Instagram model and refusing to let 90's fashion die.

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  • mzblackwidow

    that was the perfect way to review this episode. I have been waiting to read your thoughts because this show confuses the fuck out of me, yet I love it so much. You help me keep up, a little. Thankyou 🙂

    I want the 90s Alderson family show for realz too!!!