No, Seriously, Russia’s Minister of Culture, Vladimir Medinsky Thinks Netflix Is Skynet

Vladimir Medinsky

Yes Virginia, there is a federal Ministry of Culture in the Russian Government, and at the moment, some loon dude named  Vladimir Medinsky holds the office, and he has some very strange ideas about what Netflix is doing — aside from providing us with great movies and television shows. In fact, the Minister has made some serious(ly goofy) accusations against both Nextlix and the United States government.

The White House fully understands that through Netflix, they can get into every home, every television and then — into every head. Do you think that these gigantic startups get going all by themselves? That if a student is sitting there with an idea that billions of dollars come raining down?”

Wait, so this is all about Facebook? Or pimple-faced twerps taking over the business world? And the White House is in on it?

As translated by Google — which basically means, well, you know how that goes — Medinsky seems pretty rattled about Russia getting in on the Netflix craze last January.

It turns out that in our conditions, our ideological friends (the US government) are well aware that there is the most important of the arts – entering via Netflix in every house, get into every TV and through the TV – in the head every inhabitant of the Earth . And we do not understand. [You’re not kidding. CD]

And then, the US government supports Netflix, – to have fun, go online and look. The White House knows that is the most important of the arts … “

If I understand Medinsky correctly, and as an extremely paranoid Robopocalypse theorist and Skynet/Cylon fearist, I think I do, he’s saying our minds are being controlled by a government supported streaming service that we know as “Netflix”, and while we all think we’re watching the newest season of Orange Is the New Black, we’re actually being compelled to…um, here’s where I get lost. But, we’re probably being coerced to renew our subscriptions and our money is being used to support college kids’ bad social media ideas, where we are further coerced to vote for corrupt politicians who don’t even live in Russia, OR, maybe the government is sending us subliminal messages to overthrow the Russian government. Either way…this probably explains the second season of Bloodline.

THANKS, OBAMA!

you'rewelcomebama

I’m super confused.

ron-drink

Someone should get Medinsky together with Elon Musk, and be sure to get it on film, because they’ll have the most bananas conversation any of us has ever heard.

 

Cindy Davis

Cindy Davis

Cindy Davis has been writing about the entertainment industry for ​over seven years, and is the ​Editor-in-Chief at Oohlo, where she muses over television, movies, and pop culture. Previous Senior News Editor at Pajiba, and published at BUST.

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  • AbbySaurus

    Hey, if the government is using Netflix to watch me or control my mind…have at it. You’ll get my Netflix when you pry it from my cold, dead…uhm…internet connection.

  • ChainedVase

    I for one welcome our inevitable Netflix robot overlords.

  • emmalita

    Well sure, because that’s what he would do if he had control over Netflix.